Let’s Be Honest About How This Feels
The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, twinkly lights, and togetherness. But if you’re healing after divorce? They can feel like an emotional minefield. Festive family dinners, those “perfect” social media posts, and all the traditions you thought you’d love forever—suddenly, they sting. It’s like everyone else is in on a secret you’re not part of anymore.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, out of place, or drowning in emotions you didn’t ask for, I promise you—you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and I’ve walked alongside countless women who’ve been there, too.
Here’s the truth: The holidays can be hard, but they don’t have to break you. I’m sharing 5 simple, powerful ways to help you navigate this season with less stress, more peace, and maybe even a few moments of unexpected joy.
1. Shift Your Focus—Redefine What the Holidays Mean for YOU💛
Why It’s Hard: The holidays can feel like a constant reminder of what’s gone. Traditions that used to feel magical now feel heavy, and seeing happy families can leave you grieving something you can’t get back.
⚡ What to Do Instead: Here’s the thing—this is your chance to reclaim what the holidays look and feel like for YOU. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it definitely doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
✨ Try this:
Visualize Your Ideal Holiday: Close your eyes and ask yourself—what would a calm, peaceful holiday look like? Who’s there? What small things bring you comfort and joy? Write it down.
Create New Traditions: Start fresh with what feels good. A cozy movie marathon? A “friendsgiving”? A day that’s all about you (yes, a “self-care celebration” counts!).
There are loads of ideas for new traditions in my Co-Parenting at Christmas guide which you can get here
🌻 Transformation: When you stop clinging to what was and start focusing on what feels right now, the holidays become less about comparison and more about creating your kind of joy.
2. Protect Your Energy with Healthy Boundaries💛
Why It’s Hard: The pressure to show up at every event, smile through awkward family gatherings, or engage with people who don’t respect your healing? It’s exhausting. And the guilt for saying “no” can feel even worse.
⚡ What to Do Instead: Boundaries are your best friend this season. Seriously, think of them like a warm, fuzzy blanket for your emotional well-being.
✨ Try this:
Kind, Clear Boundaries: If you need to decline an invite, say, “Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m taking some time for myself this year.” No over-explaining needed.
Guilt-Busting Tip: When guilt creeps in, try a quick EFT (tapping) script: “Even though I feel guilty for saying no, I honor my need for peace. I deserve to feel calm and grounded.” I have a video showing you exactly how to do this - just get in touch and I'll send it to you.
🌻 Transformation: Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re self-respect. When you protect your energy, you give yourself space to breathe, rest, and show up in a way that feels authentic and manageable.
3. Focus on Connections That Actually Lift You Up💛
Why It’s Hard: The loneliness of the holidays can make you want to reconnect with people who might not be good for you, or it can push you to retreat and isolate completely.
⚡ What to Do Instead: This is your time to choose connection that feels nurturing, not draining. Prioritize people who make you feel seen, supported, and understood.
✨ Try this:
Lean on Your People: Identify 2-3 friends or family members who genuinely lift you up. Plan something meaningful, even if it’s a low-key coffee date or phone call.
Find Your Tribe: Join a support group (online or in person) of people who get it. Shared experiences can create connections that make you feel less alone. but BE WARY - lot's of divorce groups can become very toxic and a competition for who has the worst ex - THIS IS NOT HELPFUL TO YOUR HEALING!
🌻 Transformation: When you surround yourself with the right people, loneliness starts to fade, and in its place, you’ll find comfort, support, and strength.
4. Release Emotional Triggers and Ground Yourself💛
Why It’s Hard:The holidays have a way of stirring up old memories and unresolved emotions. One moment you’re fine, the next, you’re blindsided by a song, a smell, or a tradition that doesn’t feel the same anymore.
⚡ What to Do Instead:The goal isn’t to avoid these feelings—it’s to move through them.
✨ Try this:
Quick EFT Tapping: When a memory or trigger comes up, try saying, “Even though this memory hurts, I choose to let it go. I deserve peace.”
Ground Yourself: Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique:
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
🌻 Transformation: Processing emotions instead of pushing them down helps you feel calmer and more in control. Triggers lose their power, and you get to stay rooted in the present moment.
5. Use This Time as a Reset for Your Future💛
Why It’s Hard: When you’re healing, it’s easy to feel stuck in the past. The end of the year can feel heavy—like a reminder of everything that’s changed.
⚡ What to Do Instead: Flip the script and use this season to reflect and reset for the future you want.
✨ Try this:
Journaling Prompts: Write it out:
What have I learned about myself this year?
What do I need to let go of?
What intentions do I want to set for 2025?
Visualize Your Future Self: Picture yourself a year from now—calm, confident, and at peace. What’s one step you can take today to move toward that version of you?
🌻 Transformation: The holidays become less about looking back and more about stepping forward. This time of year can be a powerful turning point—one where you start creating a future that feels hopeful and exciting.
You’ve Got This 💛The holidays might feel heavy right now, but they don’t have to define you. By shifting your focus, protecting your energy, and letting go of what no longer serves you, you’ll find moments of calm and joy—even in the messiness.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting the past. It means honouring where you are and choosing to move forward, one step at a time. You’re stronger than you think, and you deserve to enter the new year feeling empowered and ready for what’s next.
Ready for Support? If you’re tired of just “getting through” and want to create a life you love in 2025, I’m here for you. Let’s work together to rebuild your confidence, rediscover your joy, and create a future that lights you up.
What’s one small thing you’re doing to reclaim the holidays for yourself this year? I’d love to hear—drop it in the comments!
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